the new decade

Surprise, a New Year’s post!

Although I genuinely love the holiday season, I know the hypocrisy and hype can be a bit much for many people. For me, though, the three weeks from December 24th to January 8th are great. To begin with, I love having something to look forward to and this year, every weekend for three weeks contains a holiday. Secondly, Christmas, New Year’s and my Birthday in a three-week span? Cool.

Ironically enough, I had been thinking heavily about my New Year’s resolutions and it was not until this morning that I realized: it is a new decade. It’s a chance for a new TEN years, not just one year. Big, right?

I get emails daily from blogs I subscribe to, newsletters, etc. One such newsletter, Om Freely, caught my attention this week as I was considering the resolutions. Sonya  suggests that we take inventory on 2010 in order to truly prepare for 2011, so here I go:

What did you do well this year? Where can you really praise yourself for your efforts? If you look back at your life in January 2010, or December 09, what is different? What changed? Do you like the change? Write your list of accomplishments in 2010. I think it is important to chart our progress. Sometimes we identify with who we were 10 years ago, when in fact, we are different people. We need to catch up to who we are.

This year, I did well at forcing myself to make changes and choices that were not necessarily easy. Big things included traveling to Italy for six weeks, taking a new job, staying in a challenging relationship, shedding some excess in my life (pounds, people, stuff), becoming more aware of my relationship with God and Jesus and trying to expand my self awareness and perception.
The difference between last year and this year at this time is somewhat big. Last year, I was headed to Dallas to stay with my closest friend and spend New Year’s Eve with my boyfriend. I was carefree, I was not as heavy or thoughtful or burdened. Today, I don’t speak to that friend as much. Today, I do not have that boyfriend. Today, I have a lot of thinking and a lot of changes under my belt.

2010 accomplishments:
1. maintained my 3.8 GPA goal both Spring 2010 and Fall 2010 semesters
2. traveled abroad, successfully and had fun doing it
3. started a big girl PR job
4. started this blog
5. began reading and praying and finding Jesus in everyday life
6. Who’s Who Among College Students list (dorky, I know)
7. exercised regularly (excluding my six weeks in Italy)

Where did you fall short? What could you have done better? We all have our shortcomings, but our mistakes can sometimes be are our biggest wake-up calls. It’s worth evaluating. If we focus our improvements in a particular area, we tend to direct our energies there as well.

What could I have done better? This may be long-winded. I could have been more present. Even when I was Italy, my attention was elsewhere. I could have cared more for me. I like to take care of people, I like to give small presents or notes, I like to share love. I do not often take care of myself, or send myself a nice positive thought. I could have tried harder to forgive or to forget. I could have been more flexible.
To be honest, above all else, I could have relaxed. BUT I digress, because God made me in this way for a purpose. So I should say, I could have made sure I was where I wanted to be in a space that brought me joy.

What new habit can you adopt that would improve your life? What old habit that continues to diminish your life can you let go of? Jack Canfield in his book “Success Principles” talks about initiating a new good habit every year. Consider the implications of this! Is there a new behavior, routine, or trajectory that you are willing to take on this coming year that might create new possibilities for you if you could allow yourself the success?

The one good habit I would like to adopt this year is positive self-talk to create positive energy in me and around me.

What outmoded identity or behavior are you willing to let go of?What new behavior can I adopt that will make me feel more attractive to myself?

I have a habit of turning blame and shame inward to myself and in this way, I take other’s faults or hurts on. What in the hell, right? In any given situation, whether I am justified in anger or not, I will eventually take all blame, all burden, all regret. I think that if I said the right thing, or do the right thing, the other person in the situation would have been nicer, smarter, better, etc. Essentially, I think that if I am better, others will be who they could be. This is insane to me as I am typing it out, but I recognize it as a daily habit.

I would like to adopt the strategy of (1) self acceptance; meaning that I am fine the way I am, that I do the best I can every day, that I am not in a place where something about me needs to drastically change — in addition to (2) general acceptance of others; meaning that other’s actions have nothing to do with me, are not designed to specifically hurt me, that others are (like me) doing the best they can.


So, I am going to use these answers and consider the 2011 version of me that I would like to produce. I’ll get back with you tomorrow, for the last post of 2010 (and of this decade!). In fact, in the next two days, I get to have the last shower of the decade, last cup of coffee, last tears, last laughs……



For more information on Om Freely,  “Personal and business coach, Sonya Derian publishes her weekly Ezine Monday Morning Memos for people who want to find their “Om” and live their lives out loud. Sign up for her FREE weekly tips and receive your FREE report Om Freely: 30 Ways to Live Out Loud by visiting


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