the big in the small

Sometimes I forget that not everything that is great will always look great.

What I mean is, life sometimes isn’t pretty flowers and sepia tones and fancy dinners and the words you want to hear. Lately, especially this summer, I found myself noticing that while everything doesn’t look perfect or wonderful everything is better than it was two months ago.

I still have days where I wake up late or forget my lunch or forget my brain. I have days where I would prefer to not work out, or  even to work. But more than those days are the ones where I’m excited to see what I accomplish in an 8 hour time frame. There’s days that I relish in my routine, I thrive on the hour blocks of time. There are days when I walk to work, downtown, and it’s sunny and there’s cars honking and I feel so incredibly lucky. Here’s the thing, here’s the big in the small — those are the same days. It’s just what you choose to see.

Reality is hard, but reality is constant. That’s what makes it so great. Look, if you thought everyday was going to be butterflies and rainbows and it was — what would you expect the next day? I figured out something really quick: the best parts of life are those that you notice, expected or unexpected.

So open your eyes a little, everyday. And one day you realize that there is SO MUCH to notice even in the “bad.” Part of August’s “lighten up” goals was to smile more and to get back into routine and I’ve tried my best to do both of those. I’m getting help from some good people in my life on the smiling more part and the routine part is going just as well.

There’s one more big thing I’ve realized lately and I think it’s my second hard truth about myself.

I will never be scared of being too happy.

Some people find happiness and then get scared, they think it’s fragile, it’s fleeting or it’s too good to be true. Those people don’t ever live. The truth is, I had a hard year. A long year. A not-what-I-wanted year. And now I feel like I’m in a good place, a getting-what-I’ve-hoped-for place, a new start place.

And if that type of year comes back, guess what? I know that I’ll get through it again. So the lesson, the truth, the glory that comes out of hardship? I will never be scared of being happy.

And I am. I am happy.

I am so thrilled to feel like myself again.

Xo,

CB

PS: I found a new blog that combines two of my great loves, lists & self-improvement so naturally, I’m sharing. For those of you who seem to be stuck in a bad place or seem to be ignoring all the signs that you should stop doing what you’re doing in order to get happy — check out this list.

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Filed under rambles, truths

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