Tag Archives: october

#31Days: Day Twenty Seven (or, additional voices in my head)

Some days I am very satisfied with myself – these days when I mark up a to-do list with highlighted lines and check marks. These lists are not limited to my cubicle at work, I make them for cleaning or cooking, for personal goals and packing. I mark up mental lists, post-its and lined notebooks.

Today I had a thought – what if I didn’t make these lists?

Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I don’t need to list and structure my life. Maybe these lists – this pressure – is one of the sources of my deeply rooted guilt I can not shake when even the most minor of infractions happen.

Tell me – who feels guilty when they live alone and leave toothpaste in the sink? Who can’t shake the feeling of irreversible wrong doing if they let a call go to voice mail? Who feels a consistent need to confess a minor fender bender to any and all coworkers, as if not telling them of my act would somehow be worse? Who believes their dog is sad when he isn’t taken for a 15 minute walk? Who goes to bed at night worried because there is one load of laundry left in the dryer? Who wakes up mentally calculating the hours in the day and wondering when they can fit in work out and a light dusting of furniture because they have to do it today, this Monday, right now? 

I can’t believe I am the only one with this insane amount of self-pressure. Some blame the internet or TV – pinterest is the root of all self-doubt, right? But I think this pressure actually comes from the tiny voice saying you have to figure it out as soon as you can, and you better figure it out correctly.

Maybe I should stop telling you all how many voices are in my head, I’m starting to look a little crazy. At any rate, these voices are doubling down on my sheer exhaustion at the pace of October this year. I’ve worked a lot, traveled a lot, moved a lot, thought a lot. Everything is just a bit much and I have a deep, deep desire to rest.

Hoping this week shows a balance. Only 4 more days of 6 a.m., if you can believe it.

Xo,

Cb

This is the 27th post in a series, 31 Days of 6 a.m. To see a list of all posts from the month of October, click here. If you would like to have these posts delivered directly to you, enter your email address in the form located at the top right of the home page.

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#31Days of 6 a.m.

Because sometimes the days blur together and you can’t remember if you actually showered, or you meant to shower.

Because when you’re up, you’re up and the day starts and the emails come in before you’ve clicked your lock shut on your apartment door and you race, race, race through the day to meet the deadlines and say yes and say no and make it to happy hour before half price drinks are over and because you said you would be there.

And you always said you’d love to write more than just a random blog post monthly and you’d probably be a morning person if you actually committed to going to a workout class and you wonder what the sun actually looks like as it rises. You wish you had time to actually sit on your patio or walk your dog around without sweating or texting or thinking.

Breathe. Slow. Stop.

“I need more time.”

Me too, friend. So I’m making more time. I’ll be joining The Nester and writing a short blog post every day in October – and I’ll also be waking up before the sun every day in October. Trust me, they’re related.

My plan? Every morning this month, I’ll be out of bed before 6 a.m. and for an hour, I will spend time doing anything I’d like. Some days I may exercise, some days I may read, some days I may write. Some days I may just sit on my porch with coffee for an hour. I considered constraining myself to one activity – 6 a.m. writing sessions or workouts – but my intention here was to steal an hour back from my life in which I am able to be – and who I choose to be on any given morning from 6 to 7 a.m. will likely change. So, open-ended.

Meet me here tomorrow morning for the first day of a good month.

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Xo,

CB

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the favorite month

October is coming soon, sneaking around the corner and presenting itself next week. You’d never know it if you were in Dallas with me – sitting pretty (sweaty) at a breezy 98 degrees on this last week of September. I beg for Fall, look longingly at my boots and scarf and think “someday…” Speaking of longing….

This year, in an effort to dedicate more time to my blogging and writing, I’ll be linking up with The Nester on the “31 Days of…” series. The topic? Patience.

Join me, actually, in laughing at myself on this one. But hey – we all need a challenge and apparently, I’m up for another one. Jesus and I have this tug-of-war where I ask for something and it presents itself as a challenge. Matter of fact, I think that’s the whole gimmick with this living life thing. So I’m going to spend 31 days writing about patience – encompassing all sorts of ways in which we’re challenged to slow down in this life. I want to uncover the beauty in the waiting, the frustration in not getting what you want. We’ll find out just how far we can go before we become Verruca Salt and  I want it now. 

So, come read what I have to say in October. I’m sure, by asking for this, I’ll have quite a few stories to tell. Also, notice the very blank button below. I’m currently working on my blog skills to create a beautiful custom one. For now, you get blank guy. (See? Patience….)

Xo,

Chelsie

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the tenth month

Grace.

October is my favorite month. Grace is my favorite gift, both to give and to receive.

I’ll practice the art of acceptance this month; choosing to see people are who they are and choosing to give positive reviews for that. I will also keep a prayer log, where I will note grace I’ve found and grace I’m extending.

I’m in boot camp this month, outside workout out for an hour in twilight and sunrise. Noticing nature, the beauty & grace, will probably help this as well.

I plan on elaborating this post, but for now I have to run to work.

XO,

Chelsie

 

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